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Tag: childhood

What Is Digital Balance and Why Does It Matter for Children Today?

Posted on by Gary Ly

The question is no longer whether children should use technology, but how they can use it in a healthy and balanced way. 

Screens are now a permanent part of childhood. From learning and friendships to play and creativity, technology is woven into almost every aspect of a child’s daily life. Yet for many families, facing this reality can feel overwhelming. Setting boundaries around screen time, understanding digital behaviours, and knowing how to start the right conversations at home are challenges that parents face more than ever before.

The Third Space: Children’s Digital Reality 

According to Pahl and Rowsell (2005), in the framework of Literacy and Education, children today live across three spaces: school, home, and the digital space. The third space (or third place) is a hybrid learning and identity-building environment where the informal, cultural literacies of the home intersect with the formalised, institutional literacies of school. This third space is where friendships are maintained, creativity is expressed, and much of modern learning takes place. Teaching digital literacy begins with helping children understand what kind of space the digital world actually is. Unlike the first two, it has no physical walls, no natural closing time, and no built-in supervision.

The third space model, according to Pahl and Rowsell (2005). 

Research from Rideout et al. (2022) confirms that daily entertainment screen time for children aged 8 to 12 averages over 5.5 hours, while teenagers exceed 8 hours, with these figures nearly doubling over the past decade. The American Psychological Association and other experts emphasise that the quality and nature of content (active versus passive) are more critical indicators of impact than total time. As Ms Mili put it during the workshop, we cannot lock the door to the third space, but we can teach children how to navigate it. This is the heart of digital balance.

 

Regarding screen time, the quality and nature of content (active versus passive) are more critical indicators of impact than total time.  

 

What is Digital Balance?

To understand digital balance, it helps to look at how much has changed. In 1990, a child’s everyday toolkit included heavy textbooks, handwritten diaries, a Walkman, a landline phone, a physical map, a camera, and board games. Today, every one of those tools has a digital equivalent: Google, Notes apps, Spotify, WhatsApp, Google Maps, Instagram, Minecraft, etc. The tools have changed. The human needs behind them have not. Children still need connection, creativity, learning, and play. Their devices are simply where they go to meet those needs now.

Ms Mili Manek leading the Digital Balance Parent Workshop at AHI’s Primary Campus, helping families build practical strategies for healthier screen time habits. 

 

Digital balance is the foundation of digital literacy: the ability to use technology with awareness, intention, and critical thinking 

This reframing was at the heart of Anne Hill International School (AHI)’s “Digital Balance” Parent Workshop, held on 7th May 2026 and led by Ms Mili Manek, Mental Health Counsellor and Educator with over 20 years of experience. As Ms Mili explained to parents, their devices are not their distractions. They are a destination for all the physical and human needs that children once met through physical tools. Understanding this changes the conversation entirely.

Explore highlights from the previous Emotional Resilience workshop, led by Ms Mili Manek

 

Digital Drainers and Digital Fillers

Not all time spent online supports a child’s wellbeing. One of the most practical frameworks introduced during the workshop was the distinction between digital drainers and digital fillers.

Digital drainers are passive, reactive, or emotionally depleting forms of screen use. Doom-scrolling, for example, creates a shallow, compulsive loop that research associates with increased anxiety and boredom rather than genuine satisfaction. Exposure to trolling or rage-bait content has been linked to heightened anger, low self-esteem, and emotional dysregulation in children and adolescents (Smith, 2025).

Parents sharing their perspectives on Digital Trainers and Digital Fillers while participating in the interactive “Build or Break” game during the Digital Balance Workshop at AHI (May 2026) 

Digital fillers, on the other hand, are forms of engagement that genuinely nourish children. Creative coding, digital art, learning a new skill through video tutorials, and connecting with a grandparent overseas via video call are all experiences that support wellbeing, social connection, and cognitive development, even when they happen on a screen.

Teaching children to recognise what drains them and what fills them is one of the most important digital literacy skills they can develop, and one that begins with everyday conversations at home. This is worth building early. The digital habits formed during childhood have a tendency to persist into adolescence and adulthood, and awareness, once cultivated, tends to grow with the child.

From Policing to Mentoring: A Shift in Approach at Home

One of the most common patterns Ms Mili described during the workshop is what she called the Thought-Emotion-Behaviour Cycle. This is the loop many parents find themselves in around screens:

  • Thought: “They’re always on that device. They’re irresponsible. They’re addicted to screens.”
  • Emotion: Helplessness, anger, or fear, and often, guilt.
  • Behaviour: Arguments, shouting, or shutting the conversation down entirely.

The result is more conflict and less connection, with no real change in the child’s digital habits. As Ms Mili explained during the workshop, this cycle does not begin with bad intentions. It begins with a thought that goes unchecked, and understanding that is the first step toward breaking it.

Thought-Emotion-Behaviour Cycle 

The shift Ms Mili encouraged is from policing to mentoring. Rather than reacting to screen use with control or confrontation, mentoring means stepping into the role of a guide. This is someone who sets boundaries with empathy, explains the reasoning behind expectations, and keeps the relationship with the child at the centre. In practice, this looks like:

  • Acknowledging what the child is doing before redirecting, rather than immediately taking the device away.
  • Explaining why a boundary exists, such as the importance of sleep, rather than simply enforcing it.
  • Involving children in setting their own screen time boundaries, so they develop ownership over their digital habits rather than just compliance.
  • Staying curious about what children are doing online, rather than assuming it is harmful.

Research on authoritative parenting consistently shows that this approach produces better long-term outcomes for children’s self-regulation and digital wellbeing than control-based responses alone (Zulkarnain et al., 2025). Children who are mentored gradually develop the internal skills to manage their own screen time, which is ultimately the goal.

 

Digital Balance at School: Intentional, Not Accidental

A balanced approach to children and technology does not begin and end at home. Schools play an equally important role, and the most effective learning environments treat digital use as purposeful and guided rather than incidental.

In practice, this means technology is used as a tool for learning rather than passive consumption. Digital experiences such as research projects, creative digital storytelling, and collaborative presentations are integrated with discussion, reflection, and real-world application. They sit alongside rich offline learning, such as daily reading with physical books, hands-on science experiments, outdoor exploration, and unstructured social play.

AHI students working on hands-on projects during Science Week 2026, reflecting the importance of rich offline learning experiences alongside purposeful digital engagement. 

This balance reflects what developmental researchers describe as the importance of varied learning environments for healthy childhood development. Brown’s (2009) research on play highlights that unstructured, offline activity remains irreplaceable for developing creativity, emotional regulation, and social intelligence, capacities that no screen can replicate on its own.

The goal is not to limit what technology can offer children. It is to ensure that digital literacy develops alongside, and not at the expense of, the full range of human capacities they need to thrive.

The WE of Digital Balance: School and Home Together

Perhaps the most important insight from Ms Mili’s workshop was also the simplest: Digital balance is not a solo effort.

It is not us versus them, and not us versus the device. It is a WE, grounded in the connection, consistency, and mentoring that children, parents, and schools build together. When families and schools hold the same expectations and maintain open conversations, the guidance children receive becomes coherent and trustworthy rather than pulling in opposite directions.

Ms Mili and AHI parents exchanging ideas and experiences on Digital Balance, creating a warm and collaborative environment built on connection and shared insights. 

That coherence matters because the children growing up today are the first generation for whom the digital world has always existed. How they learn to navigate it will shape every aspect of their lives, and digital balance gives them the tools to do so with awareness and confidence, both online and off. That is the kind of well-rounded, globally minded, lifelong learner that this moment in childhood calls for, and it is something school and families can only build together.

 

Book a School Tour to discover how your child can grow in our caring community.



References:

Brown, S. (2009). Play: How it shapes the brain, opens the imagination, and invigorates the soul. Penguin Books.

Rideout, V., Peebles, A., Mann, S., & Robb, M. B. (2022). Common Sense census: Media use by tweens and teens, 2021. Common Sense. https://www.commonsensemedia.org/sites/default/files/research/report/8-18-census-integrated-report-final-web_0.pdf

Pahl, K., & Rowsell, J. (2005). Literacy and education: Understanding the new literacy studies in the classroom. Paul Chapman.

Smith, S. (2025, 3 November). Inside the psychology of doomscrolling: Why it happens and how to stop. Middle Georgia State University. https://www.mga.edu/news/2025/11/middle-georgia-state-university-facultyQandA-psychology-of-doomscrolling.php

Zulkarnain, Z., Tarmidi, T., Purwasih, E., & Bochaver, S. N. (2025). Parenting styles, loneliness and problematic internet use among adolescents: A cross-sectional analysis. Journal of Education Culture and Society, 16(1), 231–49. https://doi.org/10.15503/jecs2025.2.231.249

 

 

Understanding Safeguarding – What Parents May Not Know

Posted on by Gary Ly



Keeping children safe is everyone’s responsibility — and it starts with understanding what safeguarding actually means.

According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), six in 10 children under five years of age are still exposed to forms of child maltreatment. The consequences extend far beyond childhood and can ultimately slow a country’s economic and social development (WHO, 2026).

These realities highlight why safeguarding must be an ongoing commitment embedded in school culture, staff training, family partnerships, and clear reporting structures. It begins with every adult in a child’s life knowing what to look for and how to respond appropriately.



Students learning in a respectful, inclusive environment supported by a strong school safeguarding culture and child protection framework

Safeguarding vs. Behaviour Management: Understanding the Difference

One of the most important distinctions in child safeguarding is understanding when a situation calls for behaviour management and when it calls for a safeguarding response. The two require very different approaches.

Behaviour management focuses on the process of guiding and influencing an individual’s or group’s actions. It utilises proactive techniques and psychological frameworks to minimise disruptive actions, encourage positive habits, and create structured, supportive environments in classrooms, clinical settings, and the workplace (Keenan, 2025). Child safeguarding, on the other hand, focuses on protecting children from harm, promoting their well-being, and responding appropriately to concerns about their safety or welfare.





Mr Noel and Ms Aundrea (AHI Vice Principals) leading the Coffee Morning session on safeguarding at Anne Hill International School on 1st April 2026

At Anne Hill International School (AHI), this distinction was a key theme during our April Coffee Morning on “Safeguarding at AHI”, led by Vice Principals Mr Noel and Ms Aundrea on 1st April 2026. They explained to parents that behaviour issues and safeguarding concerns are not the same. Educators and caregivers must first identify the nature of the situation. This helps them respond most appropriately and effectively to protect the child. A one-size-fits-all response may not meet the child’s actual needs.

Recognising Signs of Abuse: Why Patterns Matter

Children rarely disclose harm directly. More often, signs a child needs safeguarding support emerge gradually as patterns of behaviour over time rather than single, obvious incidents.

The Adverse Childhood Experiences studies, conducted by the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention (2026), demonstrate that early experiences of harm, neglect, or instability have measurable impacts on brain development, emotional regulation, and long-term health. Children who receive timely safeguarding support, however, show significantly better outcomes.



By noticing changes in behaviour, distress, social challenges, and ongoing patterns, we can better recognise when a child needs support

This is why safeguarding training places strong emphasis on consistent observation. As shared during AHI’s Coffee Morning, children’s behaviour is not always a one-time reaction. Sometimes, it reflects a repeated pattern that needs attention. A recurring change in mood can be a sign. Unexplained absences can also raise concern. Some children may withdraw from friends or become less engaged in class. A single incident may not seem serious on its own. However, repeated changes over time may show that a child needs support. Recognising these patterns is a core skill in recognising signs of abuse and neglect, and is something both school staff and families play a role in observing.

How Schools Handle Safeguarding Concerns: The Process

Effective safeguarding in schools follows a clear, consistent school safeguarding process to ensure every concern is handled fairly and thoroughly. At AHI, this process follows four structured stages:

Listen → Record → Report → Act

At the centre of this process is the Designated Safeguarding Lead (DSL), a trained staff member responsible for managing all safeguarding concerns within the school. The DSL coordinates with relevant authorities, ensures careful follow-up at every stage, and leads the school’s response according to established safeguarding policy.



Safeguarding begins with listening, reporting, and taking appropriate action through clear procedures led by the DSL, with careful follow-up every step of the way

A strong safeguarding policy is built on several key principles. First, all concerns are taken seriously, even when they may initially appear minor. Information is then shared only on a need-to-know basis, with confidentiality handled appropriately. Any actions taken must be proportionate and followed up, stage by stage. Staff who receive proper safeguarding training understand that safeguarding is not about making quick judgements or assumptions. Instead, the priority is to ensure that every child receives the right support at the right time.

The Role of Home – School Partnership in Safeguarding

Child safeguarding is not the school’s responsibility alone. Parents and caregivers are key partners in keeping children safe, and open, trusting communication between home and school creates the complete picture. What a teacher observes during the school day, combined with what a parent notices at home, gives both parties a far more accurate understanding of a child’s well-being. This is why it is so important to share concerns early, communicate openly, and avoid spreading rumours.

Effective communication does not just connect us; it protects our children.

Research by Lloyd et al. (2023) found that children in families with open communication practices were significantly more likely to disclose concerns early, before situations escalated. With that in mind, Mr Noel shared several practical tips for parents on how to talk to children about safeguarding at home:

  1. Stay calm: A composed adult response reassures children that it is safe to keep talking.
  2. Avoid assumptions: Listen fully before concluding.
  3. Reassure children about speaking up: Let them know they will not be in trouble for sharing concerns.



Through open conversations, empathetic listening, and thoughtful questions, parents can create safe and trusting environments for children at home and at school

When Safeguarding Concerns Turn Out to Be Misunderstandings

It is important to acknowledge that not every safeguarding concern leads to a serious child protection issue. As discussed at the Coffee Morning, what may seem serious at first can sometimes be a misunderstanding or a friendship conflict that simply needs guidance and support from caring adults on both sides. This is why safeguarding processes are so important. Through careful listening, appropriate checks, and thoughtful follow-up, schools can take concerns seriously without overreacting.



By raising concerns early, communicating openly, and avoiding rumours, families and schools can work together to better support children’s well-being

Safeguarding is a shared responsibility between schools and families. It requires ongoing care, communication, and commitment. By keeping children’s well-being at the centre of every decision, we build not just safer schools, but stronger, healthier communities.

Book a School Tour to discover how your child can grow in our caring community.



References